As the time goes by people learn the difference between giving support vs controlling someone in a relationship.
Through conflicts and fights, they go for control so that they feel safe and protected in the relationship, but they can’t figure out why at the end of the day they miss in happiness and enjoying sharing life together.
The more traumas a person has experienced, the more intense their behavior might become when they are faced with a situation that makes them feel out of control.
Those who need to control everything around them have a great need for safety. Their controlling behavior is a means of overcompensating for lack of control they might have had during childhood and adolescent years.
The more you understand yourself and why you behave the way you do, the safer you feel. Identify and resolve the attachments and fears you have to being in control. Free yourself from the need to be in control and allow yourself to enjoy healthy loving relationships.
We all have control dramas here and there as some fear surface, what sets people apart though is how they deal with circumstances.
For example if you have a need to control everything, pretend that you’ve lost complete control of your life and then feel in your heart, what fear surface when you imagine this. If the fear that showed up means that you need to close doors and open up some other doors then do exactly that. This will increase the trust towards yourself and make you feel safer and more comfortable in your environment.
Trauma creates an imbalance in a person’s life; it influences your connection with yourself and your willingness to listen to your own judgment and intuition.
Often people feel suffocated next to an individual who needs to be in control, they feel that their boundaries are invaded. They feel disrespected they become unhappy and they feel they want to escape to a new situation for comfort and understanding.
Empower yourself, build up your self esteem and confidence, remember that you can only find safety and security by releasing the monster in the closet, create your own garden and decorate your life with your own flowers and not expect for someone else to bring them to you.